16.11.17

Marketing for Kids

Paddington Bear,
Of his brand, takes great care.
Always wears a red hat and duffel coat
Three sizes too large (allows for marmalade bloat).


28.10.17

Mrs Brown's Boys

Rosemary Isabel Brown
Made many a rationalist frown.
Her being Brahms and Liszt
In so many bars left them pissed.


Or do you prefer

Rosemary Brown
Made rationalists drown
Their sorrows with many a beer
As they couldn't expose this seer.


Or perhaps

Rosemary Isabel Brown
Inhabited a huge ghost town
Of decomposing dead composing and dictating
New compositions the quick required authenticating.

21.10.17

17.10.17

Content-content

A basic sponge mix
Equal parts Irish butter
Sugar, flour and eggs


On comparing notebook contents with Ben Colley,
the barman at the Rose and Crown, Larkhall

24.9.17

The Balearic Scapegoat

Admiral John Byng
Went to Minorca for a fling.
Ended up losing what he oughtn'a
Pour encourager les autres.



or do you prefer

Admiral John Byng
Would've preferred even Sing Sing
To encouraging more assertion
By being shot for duty desertion.





13.9.17

Here's The Big Un

Kim Jong Un
Is no Kim Rong Un.
What else is a lowly poet to scribble?
A mad man with boosted fission bombs brooks no quibble.



7.9.17

Doppelgooner

Grant Shapps
Is one of those unsavory Tory chaps,
But Michael Green
Has no better reason to preen.

Shapps                    Green


21.8.17

Total Eclipse of the Dumb

President Donald J. Trump
Will look a science-denying chump,
If Fox News prompts him to tweet
"Sad. The Sun's been eaten by a yuge parakeet."



15.8.17

Royalty Loyalty

Salmon Rushdie
Found it decidedly fishy
That they'd not accept, his pals,
He'd made nowt from Midnight's Children residuals.



© Jonathan Cape