15.8.17

Royalty Loyalty

Salmon Rushdie
Found it decidedly fishy
That they'd not accept, his pals,
He'd made nowt from Midnight's Children residuals.



© Jonathan Cape

7.8.17

Born To Pun

Clarence Clemons
Avoided sucking lemons.
They caused the Big Man's lips to bloat,
Imparting a bitter citrus note.

28.7.17

Alternative Fads

Follow the Yellow Brick Road,
Exhorts the Myriad Media Toad,
As if thought of the Red Brick Road's a sin.
Oh, Jeremy Corbyn!


credit: Independent



24.7.17

For Every Well-Off Household

Etiquette demands
Special fish forks and fish knives.
And for bean-burgers?

Or does this work better?

Etiquette requires
Special fish knives and fish forks.
But veggie sausages?

22.7.17

The Puck Stops Here

Dame Margot Fonteyn,
For only one sport felt no disdain.
She admired the charm, grace and poise
Of those professional ice hockey boys.

or do you prefer

Dame Margot Fonteyn
Was a great fan of the quatrain,
Which makes it deuced hard to
Compose for her a Clerihew.




19.7.17

Twinkle Toes

Rudolf Nureyev
Knew better than Our Kev.
A Russian High Lift does not deploy
Ballet lovers to the gods at the Bolshoi.


or do you like


Rudolf Nureyev
Made a mean Chicken Kiev.
Slow-baked, we heard;
It wasn't the Firebird.


credit: BBC



15.7.17

3.7.17

Childhood Memories II

John Noakes
Was just one of them blokes
With no fear of heights
Or any Blue Peter pet what bites.


credit: BBC

or do you prefer

John Noakes
Astonished the young folks
From the cross-trees of HMS Ganges
To ironing Valerie's singlet, hun' (and dungarees).


credit: BBC

or perhaps

John Noakes
Would have loved it, folks!
The chance to interview Johnny Depp;
He'd have huzzahed "Get down, Shep!"



R.I.P. John Noakes (6 March 1934 – 28 May 2017)

28.6.17

Childhood Memories I

Valerie Singleton
Could have endless fun
Making gifts from loo rolls
And broken old washing up bowls.

and there's

Valerie Singleton,
In 1971,
Made so much from empty detergent bottles,
Loo rolls, glue and Tiger Moth throttles.


credit: BBC

18.6.17

Artistic Differences

Richard Burton
Was notably curt on
Whether Philip of Macedon's fate
Was to be upstaged by his Alexander the Ingrate.

Credit: United Artists

14.6.17

Barren Yarns

Hieronymus Karl Friedrich, Freiherr von Münchhausen,
Gehört einer Kette Brünchhausen.
Zwar war das Deutsch hoch, doch,
Aber gerochen haben die Fische ziemlich höher noch.


G.Bruckner

or do you prefer

Baron Munchausen
Told tall tales ten to the dozen
Of djinns, houris and caliphs,
But never of bankers and bailiffs.


Gustave Doré